It's the first day of school (again) in Sweet Valley!!!! And there's a new student... Plus, Black Carl (who is hereby known simply as "Carl", due to the name change of Crazy Carl in "Kidnapped") returns!!!!
Like I said, it's the first day of school at SVH. Liz is still all mopey over Todd's recent personality transplant, and Jess is getting sick of her whining 24/7. Lila runs up and announces that SVH has a new student, and she's -wait for it- A SUPERMODEL!!!!! Her name is Tatyanna Thomas, and she's really pretty. Even I think she's hot!!!!
The new Bruce (and his super weird posture...) saunter right up to Tatyanna and hits on her. She rejects him and acts really bitchy towards everybody. Nobody realizes how bitchy she's being, they just keep gawking at her and worshiping the ground her Jimmy Choos walk on. Seriously, girl just wants to be NORMAL and they're all treating her like some sort of freak show. Winston even goes so far as to snap pics of her as she tries to walk to class. CARL is also there (and I hope against hope that the writers do NOT make them a couple based solely on the fact that they have similar skin tones, but I can already see it coming) and even he's joining the effort to alienate this poor girl. Rumors are already flying around about how hot and sophisticated Tatyanna is. Seriously, this girl arrived like 30 seconds ago and she's all anybody can talk about. It's sad. Tatyanna proves right away that she isn't just a pretty face, she's also BRILLIANT!!!! She even corrects LIZ in class...WOW!!!! I like her!!!!
Tatyanna caps off her horrible day by visiting -where else?- the MOON BEACH!!!! (Yay, Moon Beach!!! Oh, how I have missed you and your neon awesomeness!!!!) Everybody continues to stare at her and she ignores all of them. Todd is in the backroom, brooding over the newly-installed pool tables. Tatyanna asks him to play a game with her (since he's the only one who has failed to acknowledge her existence) and he accepts. They have a nice, normal talk, and Tatyanna enjoys herself. She even lets Todd run her lucky charm (in a non-sexual way, of course). As is typical, Liz walks in right in the midst of all this, makes an incorrect assumption, and leaves quickly. Jess and Lila stay behind and follw Tatyanna around like a couple of creepers. She makes it very clear that she has nothing to say to them and that she is NOT going to be their new BFF.
Jess and Li go home dejected and bitch about how much they hate Tatyanna. Liz joins them and eats an entire tub of licorice (ewww). Liz tries to defend Tatyanna, but Jess informs her that Tatyanna was all over Todd after Liz left. (Of course, it wasn't really like that, but Liz is still making stupid assumptions so she believes it.) Jess and Lila decide to do some "research" on Tatyanna in back issues of Seventeen magazine. (Two episodes in a row!!!! Seventeen must have paid BIG money for that!!!!) They discover that, whenever Tatyanna's place of birth is mentioned, it's different in every article!!!! WTF??? Luckily, Lila has a friend who knows Tatyanna and is willing to give them some info...
At school, Win continues to stalk Tatyanna, and Liz is still worrying about Tatyanna and Todd. (I'm not so sure it's TATYANNA that you should be worried about, Lizzie.) Mr. Collins doesn't help the situation when he suggests that Liz interview Tatyanna for the Oracle. (Damn, even the teachers are on this girl!!!!) Liz has her doubts, but Mr. Collins gives HER a shoulder-pat and Liz agrees to give it a try. Of course, Tatyanna is trying to be NORMAL and the last thing she wants is a cover story for the Oracle, so she refuses to let Liz interview her. All this time, Winston and Manny are STILL stalking Tatyanna. Winston is determined to get a pic of her, and he makes Manny pose for practice photos. It's...bizarre, and he tells Manny to "look sexy". Okay then.
Jess and Lila have finally received their info on the REAL Tatyanna. They corner the poor girl in the bathroom and basically wave it in her face just because they can. Seriously, I really feel bad for this girl!!!! No wonder she likes hanging out with Todd, he's the only person who doesn't treat her like she's a freak. Tatyanna tells them to fuck off and she storms out of the bathroom. Win snaps a pic as she opens the door...what an asshole!!!! Tatyanna is awesome- she breaks Win's film!!!! Jess and Lila come out ready for revenge!!!! (Although I'm still not fully clear as to why they are doing this...what are they going to gain from this?) It seems that Tatyanna was born in Arkansas and her real name is Cheryl. (OMG, Cheryl Thomas? As in, the girl who dated Steven and then they broke up because he was white or something equally closed-minded? Easy Annie's stepsister?) And -guess what!!!!- Cheryl/Tatyanna doesn't give a shit that her "secret" is exposed!!!! She just wants to live a normal life!!!! She's sick of all this attention and people treating her like her shit doesn't stink!!!! She proceeds to clarify this for Jess and Li before running off. Liz shakes her finger at Jess and Li and follows Tatyanna/Cheryl. She asks why Tatyanna is so upset. (Ummm, duh, Liz!!!! Obviously Liz isn't paying attention today!!!!) Tatyanna/Cheryl explains everything to Liz real slowly, and also tells her that she really was NOT interested in Todd. She just wanted a friend, like a REAL friend. She tells Liz that she understands why she was upset, and that Todd is a great guy- but SO not her type. She decides to give friendship a try with Liz, and even agrees to do the stupid Oracle interview!!! The episode ends with her telling Liz to call her "Cheryl".
****The SarahLynn Summary****
*I'm sure Cheryl/Tatyanna will get over Jess and Lila's bitchiness and be their friend by the next episode.
*Whatever happened to Nicholas Morrow? And Koichi? I liked those guys.
*I still hate the new Bruce, but the new Todd is kind of growing on me.
*Cheryl is really, really pretty, but that does NOT make it okay to STALK her...Winston, I am speaking to YOU!!!!
*I don't think Enid was in this episode at all. I liked that.
Next Time on SVH TV:
Jess wrecks the Jeep (again), Bruce buys the Moon Beach, and Liz goes camping with Enid.