Again, an episode I do not recall. I'm assuming that somebody in Sweet Valley has FINALLY gotten a job, and that in itself is worthy of an entire episode. Damn rich kids. As I write this, I'm hiding from my boss. Somebody called in sick, and he expects me to come in early to cover, but I'm not having that. It's bad enough I have to work in like 3 hours, but I draw the line at devoting my free time to a place that hasn't bothered to promote me in the 2 1/2 years I've worked there. Of course, this has nothing to do with Sweet Valley, and you know whoever got off their ass and got a job will never work said job again after this episode ends. But maybe there will be some shots of Bruce or something equally cool, so I'll give this one a shot...
It's Career Week at Sweet Valley High. Liz has signed herself and a very reluctant Todd up to be interns at the newspaper. Jess is going to be an apprentice to some fashion designer named Dante. I hope it's Dante from Clerks and Mallrats. And I hope Jay and Silent Bob show up, but I know they won't. Lila's dad is opening a new chain of restaurants, so he signed her up to waitress at the Moon Beach (Yay, Moon Beach!!!) and Lila is not very happy about this. Liz tells Lila that it could be a great learning experience for Lila, but I doubt it. Lila will never have to work a day in her life, and I hate her for that.
Everybody goes to work. Jess likes Dante a lot, but his assistant is a total bitchface. She makes Jess get her coffee and give Dante's dog a flee bath. Dante notices Jess's outfit right away (of course he does, Dante is a creeper and she's wearing a little red plaid skirt) and compliments her on her talent.
Lila fails miserably at her Moon Beach job. Some moronic manager leaves her alone with the customers, and Lila gets everybody's order wrong. Everybody complains and Lila wants to quit. Of course, a hot delivery guy shows up and Lila immediately forgets about that. His name is Heath (awww) and he likes the fact that she's working. As opposed to all the other rich, spoiled shitheads in Sweet Valley. He thinks it's nice to meet a girl who isn't stuck-up, and I laugh because he's obviously NOT from around here. Lila plays along and neglects to mention the fact that her daddy is LOADED, and I can only imagine how this will blow up in her face.
Meanwhile, Todd sits around and brags about how awesome his job is. He gets to review something called "Dream Girls", and he totally thinks it's like a strip club or a whore house or something. Of course, Liz snaps him back to reality and tells him that it's actually a MUSICAL about like 80 year-old ladies that dance. Or something, I kinda spaced out. Todd goes right back to hating his "career", and Liz bitches about how she has to write about hockey. Ewww, I hate hockey too. Todd is super jealous of this, and I wonder why they don't switch assignments. It's not like they'd get in trouble or anything. I don't think this is a paying job, and we all know they will never work these jobs again...
Anyways, back to important stuff. Lila and Heath go out on a date to the opera. Heath is surprised that Lila is so cultured, being that she's all broke and all. Heath can't afford opera tickets, so he brings a picnic and a radio and they have their own little opera. He made all the food himself, and it's super fancy-like because he's a chef-in-training. He's again impressed by Lila's love of food, and she says that she learned all of this from her dad being a dishwasher (he actually was one before he got super rich) and bringing home scraps for her. Scraps?!?! Seriously?!?! This pulls on Heath's heartstrings, and he insists that Lila bring home the leftovers for her poor, ghetto family. It's actually kind of sweet, except for the fact that everything is based on a lie. Before their date ends, Heath says that Lila could turn the Moon Beach into a fine culinary establishment with her vast knowledge of food. And I totally see where this is going...
Next, we get a MONTAGE!!! Lila transforms the MB into a 5-star place. Folded napkins, tablecloths, fancy food, and all that. Jess works on some original designs, and Dante hovers over her shoulder like the creeper that he is. I think he's either going to hit on her, or else steal her designs. I wonder where Winston and Koichi are during all of this. And where is BRUCE?!?!
After the montage, Jess does all of her apprentice duties for the day in record time. Dante's bitchface assistant still hates her, but Dante is blown away by the fact that Jess did everything he asked, plus found time to design some ugly purple jacket with double stitching and some sort of lapels. Dante loves this ugly jacket design, so he sends Jess off on some meaningless errand (delivering a pre-fashion show bottle of champagne to some hot Asian designer) and, after she leaves, Dante steals her design and puts it in his fashion show.
Back at the Moon Beach, Bruce (!!!!!) is impressed by the changes Lila has made. Of course, he compliments Lila on how nicely she's adapting to becoming blue collar. He calls her on her shit and asks her how long she's going to continue fucking with poor Heath's head. Lila doesn't want to lose Heath, so she tells Bruce to STFU and let her keep pretending. Besides, Lila has a plan...
Heath comes into delivery some meat (yes, he's a MEAT delivery guy...) and Lila puts her plan into action. She tells Heath that a friend of hers (aka- Daddy) is opening a chain of restaurants and he needs a new chef. Lila set up an interview for Heath so he can get hired and not be broke anymore. It's kinda sweet. Lila gives Heath a C-note and tells him to buy some new clothes. Heath doesn't want to take poor Lila's money, but she assures him that she can get more $$$$. He's suspicious of this, but he still takes the money because he wants to get a job and take care of Lila. Seriously, this guy is so sweet.
Jess finds out Dante stole her design. Of course, he denies it and his assistant backs him up. Jess whines to Liz and Todd about it at the Moon Beach. Winston and Koichi show up (oh, there they are!) and a plan begins to form... Of course, they ALWAYS have to have a revenge plan.
Heath goes to his interview and Lila waits for him in the lobby. He comes out all super pissed and Lila wants to know why. Heath tells her that he told the "old sleezebag" off and that Lila doesn't have to worry anymore. Heath said that, through the entire interview, Mr. F talked about Lila like she was "his girl", and his office was full of pictures of Lila. Heath thinks Mr. F is Lila's SUGAR DADDY!!! It's pretty hilarious, actually. And even I smiled at this. Lila is forced to set Heath straight and tell him the entire truth. It's a lot to deal with, so Heath quickly peaces out.
Later, Lila finds Heath and talks to him. He's very quick to forgive, because Heath is pretty awesome. Lila also talked to her father, and Heath is his new dessert chef. Mr. F was impressed when Heath stood up for Lila at the interview. So Heath goes off into oblivion at Fowler Grill, never to be heard from again, and Lila lives exquisitely ever after.
Of course, we still have one storyline to wrap up. Win and Koichi show up at Dante's show. Koichi speaks Japanese, and Win pretends to be his translator. They impersonate that really important Asian designer mentioned earlier. Koichi says that Jess's jacket is hideous and he hates Dante for designing it. Dante quickly tells him that it's not a Dante design, and of course the REAL Asian designer shows up at that exact second. Of course, he LOVES the jacket (why, I fail to see the appeal) and wants to know who -since it wasn't Dante- designed it. He also wants Dante to do a complete collection around the jacket. Of course, Jess now has Dante by the balls. He offers him whatever she wants in exchange for her help. Jess walks away with a promise of a summer job, full credit for her designs, AND Dante's bitchface assistant is now forced to work for Jess. Ha.
****The SarahLynn Summary****
*I got nothing.