I'm really just recapping this because I watched it last week and took notes on it. My SV Notebook is getting pretty full, so I thought I'd clear out some of the stuff I have in the backstock. I was saving it for a rainy day, but, in the interest of getting it out of the way, I though I'd spend my day off posting at least THREE recaps to make up for my broken promises and recent drought of posts. Again, this is an episode that I have no clear memories of, but the name implies that it involves a stolen diary, so I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that Elizabeth is somehow involved in this plot.
Hey, who's the ho in 1BRUCE1 during the theme song?!?! Bitch, I hate you!!!!
The episode begins with everybody all excited about some beach volleyball tournament. That sounds fun, I wish it was summer so I could play outside instaed of just sitting here blogging...No offense. Liz won't be able to go, even though she PROMISED Jess that they would go together. Apparently, Todd is an idiot and he needs help shopping for yet another gift for his mother. And, since Liz has picked out every gift he's ever given her since the age of like 12, she must accompany him on his expedition to the Mall. She promises Jess that they will go to a movie that evening instead.
Jess sits at home and waits for Liz. (I have no idea why she didn't go solo to the beach...) Liz comes home late, with Todd. They had burgers and went to a movie after shopping, forgetting about poor Jess! Todd's kind of a dick when Jess tells Liz that she wants to spend some sister-time, and Jess snaps at Todd about it. Liz has had enough of their fighting (if she ONLY KNEW what was coming...) and she ditches them both to go write in her diary. I imagine that Jess and Todd then proceeded to sneak out back for a moonlight swim/fuck-fest...oh wait, that's not until college!
The next day, Jess is still upset that Liz loves Todd more than her own twin. She's sort of jealous of their relationship, and it's kind of sweet. If only SVC hadn't come along and spoiled EVERYTHING! Jess and Lila go to the Moon Beach (of course they do, since they all have an unlimited supply of disposable income somehow...) and some guy named Chris Sanders hits on Jess. Lila says that he's only doing it because he's been in love with Liz for like forever, and Jess wishes Liz would just hook up with the dude so they can be rid of that horrible, boring Todd Wilkins once and for all...or something, I now question her motives. Jess tells some girl named Peggy (who, conveniently, is obsessed with Todd) that Todd and Liz broke up and Todd is looking for a more aggressive girl. Peggy sees her chance and she literally jumps on Todd. She kisses him, and of course Liz chooses that moment to walk in. She sees Todd and Peggy going at it, and she runs out in tears. Todd throws Peggy off of him and some random Asian guy that I've never seen before (he looks like Harold from Harold and Kumar, but he isn't) is sitting with Todd and he delivers the funniest dialogue of the episode:
Asian Guy: "That happened to me once..."
Todd: "What did you do?"
Asian Guy: "Moved to America."
It's a very well-delivered line. And Todd is wearing a pinkie ring, I just noticed. Pimp shit.
Todd tries to call and explain everything to Liz later that night, but Jess answers and pretends to take a message. But of course she set the whole thing up, so she neglects to tell Liz anything about Todd's phone call. She convinces Liz that Todd is a dick and that she should get over him. Liz doesn't return his call, and Todd just gives up just like that. WOW, way to make an effort...
Jess sets up a date between Chris and Liz, telling Chris that Liz is like WAY into him. On the date, Chris is super pushy and tries to kiss Liz like a million times. She's still not over Todd, so she rejects him and he just doesn't get the hint. She runs inside, dropping her diary into the street (for whatever reason, she brought it with her on this date...her logic escapes me) as she runs away from him. Of course, he notices it in the street and takes it with him. He's so excited about reading it that he pulls over at the end of the block.
The next day at school, Chris tells everybody that he hooked up with Liz and he can prove it! Bitch told him EVERYTHING! Bruce and Manny help spread the rumors around, and Todd is super pissed when he finds out. In typical Todd fashion, he steps up to Chris and demands to know why he's lying. Chris retorts by telling Todd that he knows ALL his secrets. Todd calls his BS, and Chris tells everybody about how Todd and Liz tried to have sex (no, he simply implies it, he doesn't say it outright)on the 4th of July, but a stuck zipper got in their way. Todd is livid, and he assumes that Chris is obviously telling the truth. Bruce laughs, but then Chris tells him that he knows about how Liz found Mrs. Patman in the poolhouse with the cabana boy. (Sounds like a game of CLUE to me...) This leads to a montage!!! Chris tells EVERYBODY everything! Enid actually CRIES when she hears what Liz had to say about her, and everybody else is pissed about Liz blabbing their personal business.
Jess tries to defend Liz, but then Lila brings up the fact that Liz also blabbed about her. Apparently, Jess accidentally stole a tube of lipstick once. Jess confronts Liz, and Liz swears that she never told anybody anything. Jess knows she would never lie, so they try to figure out exactly how Chris knew so much about Liz's personal life. Liz finally figures out that she wrote all of those secrets in her diary (SOME FRIEND SHE IS!) and Chris must have stolen it somehow. They come up with a plan for revenge.
Jess goes to the MB and runs into Chris. She tells him that she can't stop thinking about him, and she always has to have everything Liz does, so she wants to meet him in their special place. You know, the one Liz probably told him about on their date. It's a place for their "special friends", and this scene totally reminds me of their cameo in The Basketball Diaries. It's not something that belongs in a teen TV show, that's for sure, but damn- the girl can act!!! Of course, Chris totally falls for it and runs to his car to read the diary and find out about the "special place". Winston is hiding in the back and he pops up and grabs the diary. Chris doesn't fight him because his car is surrounded by an angry mob.
In the end, Liz apologizes to everyone and tells them that she only wrote all that stuff down because it's like, memories and shit. Or something, Everybody forgives her, and she makes out with Todd. They soon discover that Jess set their whole breakup up, and she admits to doing it because she was jealous. It's all very touching and shit, and Liz promises to make more time for BOTH of them and they all hug.
***The SarahLynn Summary:***
*It's like Sweet Valley Confidential: The Prequel...