I know I promised you lots of things last week, but I've had to SHARE my computer over the weekend!!!! The BF needed it for work, and I was bribed into complying. I decided to attempt to posh several things today (although I'm still not sure what exactly I'm going to post, I have a few things ready to go), and I'm starting off with a TV recap.
I don't really remember this episode, but I can imagine that it's something like 'Regina's Legacy', only without Regina and probably no legacy. I also don't remember that book, and since the episodes usually are nothing like the books, it probably won't matter anyways.
I'm watching it on my iPhone, just trying to figure out the easiest way to watch TV and blog simultaneously. The theme song plays, and then we open up in the kitchen with Jess and Liz. Jess has a problem- two guys asked her out on the same night! Liz isn't listening because she's reading the paper and talking to herself. Jess makes a smoothie, and throws a banana PEEL into it with a whole apple...and she's pissed Liz isn't listening. Liz finally listens and tells Jess that they both suck, so STFU!
Liz is working on a photojournalism project with Winston at the lake after school. Liz has some sort of safari vest on, and they snap some pictures in my favorite style -A MONTAGE!!!! There's lots of beach body shots, and bikinis, and it's all very 1990's California. Most. Boring. Montage. Ever!!! Winston falls in the water, so they decide to leave. As they're loading up the Jeep, a black van rolls up and Liz snaps a picture. Some white-haired guy is being forced into the van. One of his abductors sees Liz take the photo and he chases her. His accomplice (who is supposed to be good-looking despite his rolled-up shirt sleeves) gets the Jeep's license plate number. Sadly, dude chasing Liz fails and Liz heads back to school (always the smart thing to do when someone is FOLLOWING you...NOT! No wonder these girls get kidnapped on a weekly basis) to develop her photos. She swears that she's seen the white-haired guy before, but her pic of him is all messed up due to glare on the van window. So they have to fix it somehow...I know nothing about photograph beyond my cell phone and Sony CyberShot, so I'll go along with that. Liz can't fix the photo right then, because she has to go home and makeout with Todd (and their dark room time was up anyways) while telling him about the beach and the picture. (Typical Liz, she even finds a way to make making out boring!!!) She tries to tell Jess, but Jess doesn't give a shit so she leaves.
Liz is watching the NEWS (see, I told you she's BORING!!!!) and she stops sucking Todd's face long enough to see a photo of the white-haired dude. He's a key witness in a Congressional drug smuggling hearing (what does all that mean? Who's smuggling what?!? People shouldn't "smuggle" stuff, I know that much, but that was a lot of big words and Google wasn't helpful) and he's been missing for 5 days. His name is Roland something and foul play is suspected! Liz calls the police.
Meanwhile, Jess and Lila roll up to the Moon Beach in the Jeep. Since the episode is already 7 minutes old, Jess is contractually obligated (see, I can use big words too!) to fall in love with someone. Unfortunately, it's the rolled-up shirt sleeve guy from the beach!!! He's following her (how convenient that Liz just happens to have an identical twin who gets mistaken for her...), but obviously Jess doesn't know. He comes up and apologizes to Jess -thinking she's Liz- for his friend's behavior earlier, and she has no idea what he's talking about. But she's Jess, and she has to have a different guy in every episode, so she plays along. He asks about the picture, and she says that she left it at school. She asks him if he wants to get together and look at it sometime. Jess gives him her BUSINESS CARD!!! Yes, Jess has had CARDS made! Okay then.
The next morning, Jess asks Liz about the guy from the MB, but Liz is too self-centered to listen. Liz goes to school and bitches to Win and Todd about how the police didn't take her seriously (just wait until Prom Night, Lizzie!!!) because everybody is calling in crazy tips because they have nothing better to do. They get to the dark room and discover that it's been TRASHED! All of Liz's photos are gone (my educated guess- Mr. Collins was hoping to find a bikini shot of Liz) and Liz just knows that it was the guys from the beach. Winston may have a way to prove to the police that Liz is telling the truth... This would NEVER happen to me, I would have taken digital pictures and posted to Facebook or TwitPic.
Luckily, Liz had the picture with her, so it survived! Win scans it into the computer (WOW, he IS a nerd!!!) and starts to go to work on it. He says it may take days, so I go and get myself a snack while I wait.
Jess is at home, and the MB guy (Chad) calls her for a date. He reminds her to bring the picture, and Jess promises to do so. Of course, she doesn't have the picture, so she decides to show up looking super hot so dude forgets all about the picture. Unfortunately, it's a set-up and he's being forced into it by the guy that chased Liz (his name is Blake, BTW). Blake tells Chad to get the picture and then get rid of "the girl", and Chad is EVIL, so he agrees.
Jess tears apart Liz's room, looking for the picture. Her date outfit is all black and low-cut and her hair looks super shiny. "Damn, she gorgeous!!!" Liz and Todd come in (I wonder what they were going to do in Liz's bedroom...probably read the newspaper or play Scrabble) and catch Jess pillaging. She says she was just borrowing Liz's thesaurus (likely story) and asks about the pictures. Liz says they're at school. Chad shows up and takes Jess out to dinner...at the Moon Beach, of course.
Win is at school, finally getting somewhere on the photo. I wonder if he has a key to the school or if he just lives there, because it's obviously evening time. He calls Liz and tells her.
Chad keeps asking Jess for the picture, and he finally gets pissed and grabs her arm. She insists that she left it at school and he starts to get super mad. Jess is freaked, so she looks around for an escape. Enid and Manny come in, and Jess yells at them to come sit with her. Enid and Manny should immediately suspect that something is wrong, because Jess hates them, and Enid is wearing ugly brown overalls that I'm sure offend Jess as much as they do me, but Enid and Manny are idiots, so they think Jess is actually being nice. Chad says that was a stupid thing to do, and he opens his jacket and tells Jess he has a gun. Because it's like 1994 and you can't show guns on TV (unless you're like Canadian and you go to Degrassi), we hear him cock the gun but we don't get to see it. Chad tells Enid and Manny to get the hell away from them (only in nicer words), and they do. He demands to know where the picture is (she told you already...it's at SCHOOL!!!), and she tells him that Liz took the picture. He cocks the gun again (which should be OBVIOUS to other people...) and drags Jess to the door. Lila comes in and tries to go with them (take her, dude, her dad's LOADED and she could be a useful bargaining chip!!!), but Chad tells her she's not going with them. Lila asks where they're going and Chad tells her they're going to a movie. Jess quickly tells her that they're stopping by school, and Chad straight up scoops her up and carries her out the door. (If this were me, this thug would be getting up close and personal with the spiked heels of my Louboutins, but Jess has obviously never taken self defense classes, so she just lets dude abduct her.) Winston pulls up at the MB to meet Liz and Todd with the picture as Jess and Chad drive away.
Winston shows Liz the picture and it's fixed! Enid and Manny come up and ask Liz about Jess's new guy. Enid says he reminds her of Satan (LOL, well put!), and Liz says she's never met this new guy. Manny asks Liz how that can be true, since he's IN THE PICTURE SHE'S HOLDING!!!! Oh, SNAP!!!! Lila comes up and says that that must be the picture Chad was asking Jess about. She tells Liz that he's out with Jess at that moment.
Chad brings Jess to school (WHY is this building accessible at this time? Did they give every student their own key? It's puzzling to say the least) and forces her to open Liz's locker. He still has his gun pointed at her, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's even a real gun and not like a banana in his pocket or something... She's freaked, so she can't remember Liz's locker combo. Chad kicks the door open and gets even more pissed because the picture isn't there.
Meanwhile, Liz and Co. are sneaking up on them. Lila asks if there's a different number for 911 because the number is busy. (Good thing she has money, because the writers made her character pretty damn stupid!) Lila finally gets through and the police are on their way. Lila's work is done, and she doesn't want to die at school, so she leaves. Chad has Jess pressed up against the lockers, and Liz is right around the corner. She grabs a large globe and tells Todd to hit Chad with it when he comes around the corner. She jumps out with the picture and gets Chad's attention. Chad switches his stance. He stands behind Jess with his arm around her neck, and it totally looks like he wants to play 'Twilight', but I think he's supposed to be pointing his alleged gun at her back, and it just looks dirty to me. He FINALLY pulls out the gun and Liz gives him the picture. Stupid ass Enid messes up the plan and Chad discovers their hiding place. He waves his gun around (I guess he DID have one after all...) and makes everybody line up against the wall. He wants the negatives of the photo, but they're in the BMW outside. Chad drags Jess toward the door yet again, and tells everybody to stay where they are and not come after him and Jess. He says that, if they do, he will kill Jess and all of her "phony little friends". Luckily, Lila pops up out of nowhere and hits him over the head because "nobody calls (her) phony!" It's pretty funny. Jess hugs Lila and the cops bust in and arrest Chad.
Liz apologizes for not listening to Jess earlier (see, I knew there was a pattern with that for some reason!) and promises not to be such a self-centered brat all the time. The newspaper declares them heroes, and Lila gets most of the credit. Nobody is kidnapped anymore, and the Roland guy is found and he goes to testify at the trial (I thought it was a HEARING...is there a difference?) Unfortunately, Liz is now left without a photography project (I think they would probably let her get away without doing it, given the circumstances AND the fact that she is A FREAKIN' WAKEFIELD, after all...) and she's all super worried about failing. But this IS Sweet Valley, so of course this issue instantly resolves itself when Winston shows Liz that her photo of the kidnapping was on the front page of the paper!!!! Of course it was, everybody was SO obsessed with this damn photo that it made me want to scream!!!!
The SarahLynn Summary
*Liz doesn't pay enough attention to Jess, and Jess gets herself in trouble. Jess is a lot like my 5 year-old nephew. If you leave him unattended for more than 30 seconds, all hell breaks loose!!!
*Book Lila would hate TV Lila. I wonder who's responsible for casting her...
*Bruce was nowhere to be found. I wonder what he was up to, and if he will ever get his own episode.
*Todd didn't threaten anybody, not even the bad guys. I never thought I would see the day when T-Wilk was ascared of some thugs!!!
*Enid is as boring as Olivia was in the books. But Manny is kind of cute, for a '90's guy.
*SVH never locks it's doors and it does not have an alarm system. One would think that, considering their local crime and murder and attempted rape statistics, SV would invest in some better security.
*The SVPD may take months to investigate a car accident, but they respond in less than 1 minute when a Wakefield is in trouble!!!